Perfect Obsession
by aBeautifulLiar
Summary: He watched her from a distance for two years, waiting for his time to strike and then finally he had it. She pushed herself away from those who loved her, isolated herself and he took his chance. She is his perfect girl, his perfect obsession.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee – but I do own my mind! Which is disturbing seeing as most of my fictions are dark..**

**Prologue**

"_Love risks degenerating into obsession." _

I watch her across the street, the way she moves, the way she smiles at everyone who passes her. I smile as she orders the same breakfast every single morning; one day I will be the one buying her that daily breakfast, I'll be the one she smiles at, I'll be the one she talks to. I'll be the only one she loves.

I continue watching her as she jumps back into her car, taking the usual route to school to see her _stupid _friends, the singers who I have to suffer through listening to every week, and for every competition just to catch a glimpse of her and that beautiful voice. She believes they think of her as a friend, I know for a fact they wouldn't miss her when she's gone.

I follow her, as I usually do, she can be so _blind _sometimes. I thought she would have noticed ages ago, how could you possibly miss someone following you all the time? I guess I am just far too clever for her and all those she meets on a regular basis. They don't even know, she hasn't even _noticed _me yet.

I see her sometimes in the street, she'll smile at me. She even said 'hello' to me once, that one day I remember more than anything. It was one of the first few times I just knew I had to have her, no matter what it took. And I will have it, I always get what I want. _And I want her. _

~ .. ~

Rachel sighed, looking around the house, biting down on her lip. She took a moment before deciding to double check all the doors and windows, making sure each and every one was locked. She shuddered, her hands shaking as she continued her search around the house, not being able to shake the feeling that someone was watching her. She hadn't been able to in a long time, but the feeling was getting so much worse. The longer she allowed this to continue, the worse it got.

"It's okay.. there's nobody out there, there's nobody." She whispered to herself, her voice shaking slightly as she ran to her windows, closing the curtains slowly. Her body shook with fear, tears running down her face; she could only hope she was overreacting, she could only wish that it was because her Broadway fantasies had gone a little too far now. She wasn't famous _yet. _

She took one more long around the house, sure everything was locked and secure. She knew she should tell someone, even her dads, the way she felt there was always someone behind her, someone watching her, someone waiting for her. And as much as she tried to shake the feeling, it wouldn't leave her alone.

"You have an over-active imagination, just like your dads are always telling you." She thought about calling Finn or her dads, anyone as long as she didn't have to be alone. But it scared her to think she couldn't cope on her own,s he was still trying to prove she wasn't the young minded girl she had been at the beginning of high school – she wanted to prove to people she was ready to be a Broadway star, and live on her own in New York.

She was terrified, but she refused to appear weak. She didn't want to _die, _she wanted to be safe but she remained too stubborn to say something to those around her. She knew they would laugh, and remind her that who would want to follow around a high school girl, anyway?

~ .. ~

She's starting to feel me there, she knows I'm watching her but she won't have to live in fear for much longer. Soon, I shall make myself known to her. Soon, I will take her and she will stay with me forever.

It's been two years, two whole years carefully planning this out. I've been careful, I've been so safe – I've kept my distance, but soon, very soon.. she will be mine. I can add her to my collection but she is not like the others, she is so much stronger than all those girls before. They cried and they cried, they refused to love me back because I had taken them from this cruel world. They never seemed to realize my intentions were good, I loved them more than anyone else could. I loved them. I was the one who kept them safe, and they had no appreciation for me. So I got rid of them until I found the _perfect _girl.

Rachel Barbara Berry will be mine; I'll have her to myself and she will fall in love with me. She will fall in love with me, she will fall for me just like I have for her.

~ .. ~

Rachel walked into the choir room, slamming the door behind her before sitting down on the chair right at the back, hugging her folders close to her chest as she resisted the urge to cry. She couldn't do anything right today – she got an answer wrong in Spanish, she stumbled during a dance number in Glee, and she forgot all her singing cues – she was tired, and she was terrified.

She groaned when someone walked in, "What?" She snapped, watching as Quinn walked into the room, worry engraved on the girls face. She held out a list of songs, "We thought you could do with these, we decided what songs to do for sectionals, we didn't think you needed the.. stress?" She shrugged, watching Rachel nervously as she handed the paper to the girl.

She rolled her eyes, grabbing the paper off her as she walked past her, annoyed at how none of them believed she could do her job as co-captain of the Glee club anymore, just because she was finding it too hard to hide her feelings. She didn't look at anyone as she walked back into the auditorium, watching them all try and conquer the dance moves. She sat down and stared at the floor, refusing to look at anyone after her previous outburst; she wished she could explain to them, but how could she possibly explain that the only reason she was acting the way she was, was because she thought she was being watched? She knew they would laugh at her, remind her she's nobody.

Rachel stood up, not seeing her friends behind her, unaware she had spaced out for the entire dance number as she had concentrated on the stain on the hardwood floor. "Are you okay?" Kurt lightly touched her shoulder, causing her to jump away from him before walking away without another word.

Blaine bit his lip in worry, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend and kissing the side of his head, "She will tell us when she's ready." He looked at Finn and the rest of the group, all of them worried for the girl.

~ .. ~

I watched her as she walked out of the building, her friends not too far behind her. I smile as I notice the distance she keeps between them, burning with excitement at the thought of being able to have her all to myself. This is what I had hoped for, she is doing exactly what I need her to.

I sighed, knowing she is going away again, another trip with her dads – probably to New York to look at colleges again. The thought is depressing, knowing I won't be seeing her again for the whole weekend. I watch her get into the car, whispering a goodbye to her as she drives off, already planning what to do in the time she is gone.

I grin, watching a dark haired girl in her kitchen, comparing her to Rachel Berry, knowing she is _nothing _compared to the girl I love so much. But for tonight, she will do. Two victims while Rachel is away, every single time. I hope someone will find the connection and Rachel will notice. She needs to know how much I love her, everything I have done for her.

I look around, taking a step towards the house, making sure nobody can see me before making my way into her house, stalking towards my prey. And it's not much longer until I stand over her small body, laughing at the way she shakes and stares up at me. I look briefly at the kitchen knife in my hand, smirking down at her, her eyes widening as she realizes she is not going to live to tell the tale.

"Say goodbye." I snarl at her, plunging the knife deep into her chest, manically laughing as the blood splatters all over me, all over the floors and the walls... the kitchen counter is no longer a clean white. I raise it above my head once more, and again, and again, and again.

I stare into her glazed over eyes, gently closing them before walking out, thinking about Rachel once more, she will be different – she can live, unless she betrays me. I won't let anyone get in our way, not her friends or that person she breaks up with and gets back together with constantly. They have no idea, I can show her a better life, I love her so much. We'll be together, so soon.


	2. Chapter One

**Disclaimer: See last chapter. **

**Chapter One**

"_Great danger is coming, be aware." _

"Three teenage girls have been murdered in the past two weeks." Rachel sighed, putting down the newspaper and shaking head; it was hard to believe, they were all her age, the same hair colour.. so similar, the fear only increased.

"Rachel, why are you so interested in some creep who is going around killing girls for his own pleasure?" Kurt rolled his eyes and took the paper off her, he had no idea what was going on with his best friend recently – nobody did. She shrugged him off and looked down at the table, not saying another word.

She couldn't get over the feeling that all the news reports had described her, she sighed, blaming it all on her own stupidity – someone else would have said something, she was being _pathetic_. She was just looking for things that weren't there. She hated this feeling of being watched all the time, it made her feel sick. She looked down at the newspaper that Kurt now had in front of him, suddenly terrified that there was an actual connection, that it was the man she thought was watching her. She wanted to cry, but she couldn't tell anyone, _she was just being stupid. _

Kurt looked at her, wishing he knew what was going through her mind, she was usually so open and happy but lately it had all changed. He knew it was none of his business, not really, and he knew that she would tell them when she was ready but as much as he hated to admit it – he _cared _about Rachel Berry.

~ .. ~

I wonder if she liked my present, I wish I could have shown her in some way that they were all for her. I wish it was more obvious but then.. she would be protected, they would discover me before I was ready to reveal myself.

I see the way Finn Hudson looks at her – he would do anything to make sure I didn't get my hands on her, he wishes that she would fall in love with him, he wants a future with her but the truth is, she only has eyes for me. And then there is Kurt – I watch him with her too, I know he thinks he's her best friend but I'm the only best friend she can ever have. He has no idea about the things she wants, and the things she doesn't want.. only I do.

And then of course, the rest of the Glee club. They don't know how they feel about the stubborn diva – one day they will like her, the next they are abusing her, making her cry.. I will make them all pay one day.

I smile to myself, holding up the photograph of my beloved, kissing her gently on the lips. "Soon my love, so soon." I whisper to her, lightly grazing my fingers over her beautiful smile. I finally put the photograph down, getting out of my car. It's time to get her – and in no less than twenty-four hours, she will be time. _It's time. _

~ .. ~

Another body had been found, it was all over the news and Rachel could feel her heart beating faster, she couldn't breathe, she felt like she was suffocating. Everyone was looking at her, did they think the same things she did? Did they know as well?

Finn was worried, watching her as she walked out of school, lightly touching her shoulder as he walked with her. He didn't miss the grateful smile on her face and the way she moved just a little bit closer to him. "I-I think he's after me." She finally broke the silence, looking down at the ground as they carried on walking down the lane towards her home. He nodded, he was too terrified to tell her that he thought the same thing, and so did their friends.

He watches her cry for a second before pulling her into his arms, softly whispering words of comfort in her ear as he rubbed her back. He heard her mutter an apology, frowning when she pulled away and wiped away her tears in an attempt to pretend like nothing had happened.

Finn shook his head and gently pressed her up against the wall behind them, pressing his lips against hers. He couldn't help but grin when she moaned in pleasure at the sudden contact, her arms around his neck in seconds as she pulled him closer.

"Thanks." She blushed when he finally pulled away, kissing his neck and playing with his hair.

"I won't let anyone hurt you, I promise." He grinned, wrapping his arms tight around her once more, kissing the side of her head as they continued walking.

~ .. ~

I watch them as he pulls her into the lane, the way he looks at her. How could she betray me this way? I knew she was dating the giant, but when had she fallen for him? Why would she do this to me? Doesn't she know I have been waiting for her for so long now?

I clench my fists and watch her cry, wishing I could be the one to hold her, protect her, comfort her. Instead, I have to stand here and watch him do all the things I should be doing. Then.. they kiss, right in front of me. It takes everything within me to control my anger, thinking back to all those times she never showed up back to her house after being away, all those times she never came out of school after Glee club. I should have kept a better eye on that whore.

I hold the gun tight in my hands, bringing it close to my body as I try to prevent myself from ending it all right now. Telling myself that none of this matters, she will be mine soon anyway, just mine. And it will be tonight, I will kill anyone especially Finn Hudson if they try and get in my way.

~ .. ~

Rachel sighed, curling up into a tight ball as she dug her nails into her arms, doing her best to hold back the tears that were about to fall down her cheeks. She wrapped the blanket around herself tighter and looked at the night sky, wishing she had the guts to get out of bed and close the curtains but she was terrified that she would see someone out there.

She closed her eyes, biting down on her lower lip as she tried to think of something else, "You're safe." She whispered into the empty room, it was taking every single ounce of strength she had not to go running into Finn's room which was down the hall in the 'boys section' that Mr Shue had appointed when they arrived here for regionals.

She hated needing someone else to protect her, she sighed again and closed her eyes before slowly opening them again, turning to face the door and wishing that Finn would just walk through it, hoping he would sense she hadn't really meant it when she said she wanted to be alone.

~ .. ~

I watch her as she turns in her sleep and I know it's time. Before I know it, I'm in her room, looking around. I grin when I notice she is fast asleep, and it takes everything in me to not laugh as I think about how easy it was to get a future Broadway star in my grips.

I'm so glad that finally, after all this time of watching and waiting, I can finally call her mine. I grip the cloth in my hands and stare down at her, her eyes closed and the tears that had been falling down her gorgeous face, all dried now. She's waiting for me to collect her now, I smile lightly as I touch her face.

"I love you." I whisper, brushing a strand of brunette hair from her eyes, her eyelashes fluttering slightly, fooling me into thinking she's going to wake up for a moment before she returns to her deep slumber. I wish I could kiss those beautiful, soft lips but then I remember who's lips have touched hers and I clench my fists in a sudden burst of anger. The whore betrayed me, she'll have to be punished. I have to make sure she pays.

I slam the cloth down on her face, taking no mercy in my actions as her eyes open in shock, taking in my appearance. It doesn't take her long to realize who I am and what is going on, I put my fingers to my lips and graze her cheekbone with my fingers as I hush her gently, just as though she's about to fall asleep. And then she returns to a drug induced slumber.

I shake my head at her limp body, leaving the cloth on the table and making sure I don't touch anything, knowing the FBI would be all over this room in the morning. My arms lift her up with ease, kissing her lips gently as I finally claim her as my own before walking back to the window, dropping her body on the grass before I climb out myself.

I grin when I get back to the car, always alert to the situation around me, making sure nobody is lurking in the shadows. I drop her into the car, kissing her once more before carefully wrapping her in a blanket and shutting the door.

And now her time is up and we're together at last. And nobody, not even Finn Hudson can do anything about it. _She's mine. _


	3. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer: See last chapter. **

"_And then there was nothing.. no hope, no love.. nothing." _

Rachel looked around the small, cold and dark room, wincing in pain as she looked down at the binds that tied her hands together, dark bruises forming on her wrists already. She sighed, slowly sitting up and leaning against the concrete wall, tears falling down her face as she put her feet on the grubby mattress.

The brunette tried to wrap her arms around her knees, crying out in pain when the metal dug into her pale skin, droplets of blood dripping down next to her feet. Her fingernails dug into her exposed knees, slightly rocking herself back and forth. She was trying to hold the tears back, wishing she was strong enough but they fell anyway, running down her dirty face, leaving a streak that softly exposed the pasty skin beneath the mixture of dirt and mud. She stared ahead, looking at the blank wall in front of her, biting down on her lower lip.

She resisted the urge to scream, scream for someone to save her, scream for Finn to come and hold her. Instead, she sobbed and more and more tears fell down her eyes, hitting the mattress but she stayed still, her eyes not moving from that one spot on the wall as she imagined being able to burn a hole though it in order to escape her own personal hell.

She hated herself. She hated herself for letting this happen, for letting it get this far; too far. She loathed herself for letting him win, and she dug her nails deeper into her skin, trying to take in the situation. She watched her tears fall, dropping down her leg and fading before they reached the mattress – she could only wish she would fade.

She cursed herself for not letting Finn stay in her room, or not letting anyone else stay in the room. But then at the same time, she was thankful because he might have hurt them and she knew she would rather stay in this cell, than live here knowing she was responsible for one of her friends, or the man she loved, being hurt. If there was one thing she could be happy about, it was that everyone she loved was safe, even if she wasn't.

She smiled a little at the blood that now fell freely from her wrists as the metal continued to dig into them, the pain was welcomed and it meant she was alive. The blood was the one thing to let her know she was breathing and she clung to that pain with every single ounce of strength she could muster.

She clung onto the hope that soon, very soon, they would find her and Finn would take her into his arms and tell her everything would be okay. And she would believe him, she would look into his eyes and she would believe every word he told her, because she loved him more than anything. She closed her eyes, her mouth twitching into a small smile as she pictured Finn banging down the door and rescuing her – her prince in shining armour. She knew it would have to happen, he would never give up on her, and she would never give up the hope of him coming.

She kept her eyes closed, leaning her head against the cool surface of the wall, thinking about their relationship and how happy she had been with him before this mess. Hope was good.. hope is amazing when it's the only thing you have left.

~ .. ~

Finn slammed his hand down on the table in front of him, staring at the police, his friends and the adults. They could all see the anger in his eyes before he turned around, his fist colliding with the wall behind him. He shook his head, thinking about what had happened three days before.

He _knew _he should have insisted on staying in that room, he should never have listened to her when she told him to leave, that she was fine. He could have even asked someone else to go into the room with her, there was so much he could have done to protect her but yet, he had done nothing and now she was missing.

Kurt looked on in shock, kind of scared of the violent Finn they all knew could come out at certain times. He sighed and looked around the room, knowing nobody would ever forgive themselves if anything happened to the girl, his best friend.

Finn looked down at the floor, looking back up for a moment to stare at the photograph of the Glee club, only really seeing her beautiful face looking back at him. He stared at the paper headline on the table, the huge words 'missing' screaming out at him in red – red meant danger, blood, rage, hate, anger. He shook his head, trying to clear his head because red could also mean courage, determination, strength and love. "Just hang in there, Rach." He whispered to the photograph on the front page of the paper, grazing his fingers along her smile.

He chose to ignore those around him, not caring what anyone ever thought of him. He didn't care, and it was the first time he didn't, he wasn't worried about showing his true feelings in front of these people. "We will find her, Mr Hudson." The woman in front of him gave him a small smile, her FBI badge flashing into his mind before he looked at her. He sighed, this was all a huge mess, they should have found her by now.

He nodded, muttering something about needing to be alone before walking out, without a look behind him. He found himself in the bathroom, kicking a wall as tears finally fell down his face, she was gone and he had no idea how to protect her. He knew this guy had a deep obsession with her, he killed for her, he was so in love with her.. but none of this would help them find her, none of that told anyone where he had Rachel.

He heaved a deep sigh, looking at himself in the mirror before raising his fist to punch his reflection. He hated himself so much, he hated himself for leaving her alone, he hated himself for believing that she would be okay and he hated himself for giving into the stubborn girl too easily. He knew she wouldn't speak to him right now if he had insisted on staying with her but at least she would be safe and she would get over her anger as she always did. At least he would be able to hold her in his arms when they caught the asshole who did this to her. But no, she was alone with her stalker and a murderer, and at the moment, nobody had a clue where she was.

He let his hand drop, turning away from the mirror as a sob escaped his mouth, he should have known something like this would happen, he should have protected her and now she was alone and terrified and anything could happen to her. _Anything. _

~ .. ~

He watched her as he walked into the small room, a tray with her favourite food and a cup of hot coffee in his hands. He stared at her as she just sat there, her eyes not even flicking over to him as she went through her usual routine of pretending like he never existed, instead, she stared at the wall in front of her.

He noticed the blood dropping down her wrist, and the dried blood that dripped down her legs from cuts he couldn't see. He heaved a deep sigh, looking at her pale face, her hollow eyes with dark circled underneath – giving away the lack of sleep she had been having since she arrived at their home. He hated himself for letting her do this to herself, biting down on his lip when he remembered the first thing he had fallen in love with her for – her bright smile and the way her eyes lit up as she laughed, and now that sparkle, that wonderful happiness.. it was gone. It was gone and the girl he had fallen in love with was gone.

He placed the tray down on the floor, smiling at her. He noticed her eyes slightly flicker towards the food, her nose wrinkling in disgust before turning back to look at the wall. He found himself wondering what she was thinking about, how much she hated him. None of this was right, she was supposed to have fallen in love with him by now. She was supposed to love him just as much as he loved her.

"Rachel?" He knelt down in front of her, smiling when she looked at him with nothing but terror in her eyes. He loved the way he could scare her but at the same time, he hated it. Her eyes moved to look at the gun he held to his side, which he put into his pocket quickly and lifted both his hands up, "I won't hurt you." He whispered, frowning when she didn't say anything. Her eyes seemed to burn into his soul, he couldn't focus as he tried to stay put, without letting her know how uncomfortable he was feeling right now.

She wanted to scream, she wanted to tell him that he already hurt her. The very fact she was here, alone, away from those she loved.. that hurt her more than any gun could. He reached out for her, brushing a strand of hair from her face before quickly pulling back when she flinched. "It's okay, you're safe with me." She shook her head, and turned away from him as a lone tear fell down her face.

"You will understand this soon." He murmured, picking up the coffee and handing it to her. She looked back at him and then at the coffee, biting down on her lip; she was thirsty and she knew she had to hang on for a little while before she completely gave up hope. Her hand trembled as she took the cup from him, her eyes wandering to the other side of the room as he watched her, waiting for her to take a sip from the drink.

She looked at him for a second, before taking a small sip, her eyes closing as the warm liquid ran down her throat. She held it closer to her, seeking warmth from this cold room. He noticed the way she shivered, panic rising through him as he got up and ran upstairs. Rachel watched him leave, wondering if she had done something wrong, wondering what he was going to do to her now.

"I am so sorry.." He whispered, running back to her with a large, thick blanket which he wrapped around her shoulders, ignoring the way she shuddered when he touched her. She stared at him, thinking back to all those programs she watched, teenage girls being kidnapped and killed – why was this man different? Why was he being so nice?

She looked down at the coffee, trying not to cry, "You're going to fall in love with me someday." He smiled at her, sitting down on the bed next to her. She gulped and closed her eyes tight when he spoke again, "I will make you a deal okay?" She nodded slowly,

"I'll keep you here for one month, and if you haven't fallen in love with me.. I will let you go." She moved her chin to rest on her knees, thinking of a whole month in this place, it seemed like a lifetime but she agreed. She knew she could never fall in love with him, and she knew that deep down, he knew it too. She loved Finn, and very deep down.. he knew she did, as well.

Rachel looked down at her arms, tears falling down her face, she had no idea which was worse – sitting here and waiting for the moment he cracked, or sitting here after being hurt by him. She shook her head, at least she was safe – this way, when Finn saw her next, she would be safe. She hoped.

~ .. ~

She looked over at the desk in the corner of the room, walking over to it slowly to pick up the diary he had left her two weeks ago. Her fingers ran along the cover as she sighed, two whole weeks had gone by and not a sign of help had arrived. She sat down on the chair, picking up a pen and started to write on the pages as she did every single day. She bit down on her lip as hard as she could, more tears falling down her face. She didn't want to be here and if he remained true to his word, she only had two weeks left.

She looked over at the corner of the room where he had placed a television, she knew people were looking for her and it was all over the news but she knew that the stories would die down soon, and before anyone knew it, any mention of Rachel Berry would be nothing but a small, three line column for every month anniversary of the day she went missing. It was the same with every teenager that went missing.

She would be nothing but a memory, a teenage girl who turned up in the papers every now and again, it would go from once a month to every six months and then a year. It would just to inform people she was still missing, she was still out there somewhere, but no one knew where. _Have you seen this girl? _She shook her head, people would begin to wonder – what ever happened to Rachel Berry?

She looked down at the page in front of her, writing slowly as all the thoughts ran through her mind;

_It's been two whole weeks and yet I am still here. I don't know what he wants from me – does he honestly believe I can fall in love with him? Does he not understand that I am in love with Finn? Is he incapable of understanding that by taking me away from those I love most, he is only hurting me? I want to go home, I just want to be around my own things. I want my dads to take me in their arms and tell me everything will be okay. I just want Finn to hold me close and tell me he loves me. It's cold and lonely here, I just want to feel loved once more. I want to feel safe, I don't feel safe here, I will never feel safe here. _

_The news reports have decreased already, just like I knew they would. They have gone from one every hour, to one every day. Soon it will be once a week, and then only when they have a lead – if they ever had a lead. I'm starting to give up already, even though I promised I wouldn't. I look at the television though, at all my friends and I can tell they have given up too. They have nothing to go on, nothing to save me. I have nobody.. I am nobody. _

_I just wish I could fade into these walls, I wish I could close my eyes and never wake up. I long to awake from this nightmare that I know is my reality now. I wish. I wish. I wish. Someone save me. _

She looked down at the page, her tears hitting the pages before closing the book and putting it back in it's place. She sighed, getting up off the seat to go back over to the bed, wrapping the blanket around herself as she watched Mr Shue on the news, begging for her return.

She closed her eyes once she saw her friends pop up on the screen, she had been clinging onto the hope for so long now and everyone else had given up, she didn't see the point anymore. Hope was gone, fear had replaced it. She was scared of what was going to come, would this be the room she died on? Would his face be the last she saw? Would it be over quickly? Could she just pretend to love him and have faith that she could escape?

She shuddered, laying down as more tears found their way down her face, she looked at the television and stared at Finn as he stood next to Mr Shue, and she could see those unspoken words in his eyes – _I'm so sorry we can't find you. We have nothing, if this carries on; we're giving up. I'm sorry. _

She closed her eyes at the thought, finally letting go of that hope she had been clinging to. They were never going to find her, she was going to die. Maybe they would find her dead body in a few months, or maybe a few years. She sighed, digging her nails deep into her arms. Hope was lost on her, hope fades when her friends hope had gone. Her deserve to be saved soon disappeared when she looked into Finn's eyes – the boy she loved so much – and she saw nothing but apologies.

There was nothing they could do for someone who had disappeared off the face of the earth. There was nothing they could do to help her; so why should she bother helping herself?

~ .. ~

He watched her as she slept, her eyes fluttering as a light moan escaped her lips, moving from side to side as she dreamt of some unexplained nightmare which he could only imagine. He picked up her diary, like he always did and read through it slowly. Anger took over, reading five words over and over again, _I will never love him._

He sees the words at least once on every single page, flicking through constantly. He watched her sleep, realizing then she would never love him – after three months of being here with him, all alone with him and she still hadn't fallen for him. Nothing had gone to plan, he had everything planned out before she arrived – she was the one. She was going to be the last one, she was supposed to be the one who stayed with him, she would be the one to live and now, she only had a few months left and it was all up to her if she lives or dies.

He clenched his fist, shaking his head as he watched her sleep – probably dreaming about _him –_ the man he wasn't, the man he would never be able to compare to according to the girl he loved so much. He went over to her, kneeling down next to her, not being able to resist the smile that appeared on his face when he reached out to touch her pale face. He moved her beautiful, long hair from her face, feeling the way her body shook as she became aware of the fact he was there.

He could see the fear in her eyes as she looked up at him, she had been waiting for this moment, the moment he would hurt her. He hadn't touched her in three months, and now was the time. Now was the time he showed her that she wouldn't get away with this, he was going to make her pay for hurting him. "Get up." His eyes darkened as he stood, staring at her.

He smirked when she whimpered, nodding as she unwrapped herself from the blanket so she could stand. He watched her stand with her back against the nearest wall, it was obvious to both of them that something had changed. She whimpered again, louder this time at the sight of his clenched first, the way it slowly raised, "How dare you hurt me?" He snarled at her, punching her hard in the face.

She gasped at the contact, her own hand making contact with her already swollen cheek as she looked up at him, tears falling quickly, "I-I d-don't.. I.."

He looked at her, realizing that those were the first words she had spoken in over two months, he could hear the strain in her voice as she tried to speak to him, her eyes drifting away from him and to the wall she always seemed to hold such an interest in. "How dare you cheat on me with that high school idiot." She shook her head, biting down hard on her lip, screaming in pain when he hit her again, and again, and again, and again..

He watched over her limp body, laying there bleeding out onto the concrete floor. He shook his head, he had started to hit her and he just couldn't stop. It just carried on and on and there was no going back, all the pent up anger finally came out and now there she was, the love of his life... laying on the concrete floor beneath his feet, dangerously close to death.

He kicked her one more time before picking her up and roughly throwing her onto the mattress. He pecked her lips, walking out the room – she had been so perfect up until now. She was going to be the only girl who made it, but if she carried on acting this way, she wouldn't be around for much longer. She would have to be on her _best behaviour _from now on if she wanted to live.


	4. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer: See last chapter. **

"_Maybe I've gone crazy, but who could blame me?" _

Rachel slowly opened her eyes as her whole body shook through the strain of just trying to get up. She looked around, noticing that everything in her cell has gone – the television, the chair, the desk and her diary. She winced as she sat up, curling up into a ball as tight as she could possibly manage in the corner of the now empty room. She noticed all those clothes he had once bought for her were now gone, and he had changed her into a long, white nightgown.

She sighed, she didn't care that the stuff was gone, she didn't care he would no longer treat her as though he loved her but she did care that after three months of being there, hope no longer existed.

She rocked herself back and forth, her arms wrapping tighter around herself as she ignored every single ache and pain running through her fragile body. She bit down on her lower lip, shaking her head as warm tears ran down her pale face. She couldn't think of a way out of this, she was stuck. She looked up at the stairs and then at the door, smiling a little to herself as a plan formed. The thought of getting away from him and into the loving arms of Finn, letting him hold her all night and letting him tell her that she would be okay. She could imagine his kisses on her lips, whispering that he loved her. She could almost feel him brushing her hair from her eyes, and smiling down at her as he whispered, _I have never given up on you. _

She slowly stood up, standing at the bottom of the stairs as she prepared for his inevitable appearance down them. She knew she would have to run, faster than she ever had before. She knew it was today or never. If it didn't happen now, hope was forever gone. She sighed, tapping her foot nervously as more and more tears fell. A small smile on her face as the door opened and she grabbed the nearest thing to her – a mug.

She tried to smile at him, act like everything was normal, and she winced when he smirked at her. She watched him walk down the steps, wondering why he didn't think of bringing a weapon with him. She took a small step back when he reached the bottom step, carefully watching him place the tray down. She took her shot then while he was weak, smashing the mug down on his head – knowing it would only daze him.

And then she ran. She ran faster than she ever had before, she silently thanked her dads for giving into her younger self when she begged for so many dance lessons. But it didn't matter anyway, because when you're running for your life, it's different. She ran and she ran and she ran, grabbing the door handle, screaming in frustration and distress when she discovered it was locked.

And then, not for the first time, Rachel Berry lost it. She screamed as loud as she could, banging on the door, screaming for help, screaming for someone to save her, screaming for Finn. And then there was a shout, and she felt something make contact with the back of her head. And then the world went black, she stopped screaming and succumbed to the darkness and she wished it would stay that away.

Rachel Berry had given up.

~ .. ~

Rachel Berry sat in the corner of her cell, wrapping her arms around herself as she rocked back and forth. Her eyes stared ahead of her, biting down on her lip to stop the tears. She considered the thought that she was going mad, constantly finding herself thinking about this. She sighed, who would ever blame her for losing her mind in this hell?

She dug her nails into her arms, banging her head on the back of the wall. She no longer cared about pain, she didn't care about anything other than the fact she was still here while the person she loved was still out there and worst of all, the man she hated was just upstairs.

It was five whole months, five months since he had stolen her from everyone she loved and everything she knew. She knew she had to do something, plans running through her mind and as scared as she was, she knew she no longer had anything to lose.

She looked up at him as he walked slowly down the steps, standing up so she could look at him. She forced a smile on her pale face, trying her best to make him trust her like he once did, "Hey." He blushed when she put her hands on his chest, playing with his tie,

"I think I love you.." She whispered, leaning closer to his face, trying not to fight the feeling of being sick as she let her lips land on his. It took everything in her no not cry when his tongue entered her mouth, his hands slipping up her top as he leaned in closer than he ever had before, causing her to stumble back a little.

She felt her body tense up when he went to slip her top off, and she knew he had felt it too. "Did you really think this would make me let you go?" His voice raised and he stared at the girl in front of him who just shook her head.

"You stupid bitch, who the fuck do you think you are? You think you can just play with my feelings like this?" She screamed when he punched her hard in the face, knocking her down onto the concrete floor, she whimpered when she heard a crack as her arm hit the floor.

"Did you actually think you could get away with this?" She shook her head, not knowing what to do as he towered over her, kicking her hard in the ribs, "Well, did you?"

"N-n..n.." She stuttered, gasping for air as she heard one crack after another, "S-s-sorry..." She cried out, closing her eyes tight. She hated herself for even trying to do that with him, wishing he would just kill her now to get it over with. She was already dead now, anyway.

"I'm going to show you, I'll have you." She looked up at him and she realized she still had one thing left to lose, something he still hadn't taken from her. She wished she could turn back time and never went through with this plan – she wondered if he was going to murder her today, if this would be her last memory on earth.

He yanked her hair up, dragging her to the mattress. She shook her head, whimpering in shock and pain as he pulled down his pants, the realization that this was actually going to happen taking over. The plan had backfired, she couldn't escape.

After five whole months of dreading this moment, it had come and there was nothing she could do about it because this was her fault. She squeezed her eyes tight shut, trying to focus on good memories, sobbing when she felt his rough hands on her. She was convinced this would be her last moment on earth and no doubt in her mind that this would be the last ever memory she could hold. It was a horrible way to go. She didn't want to die.

_Please don't let me die, please don't hurt me. Please don't let me die, please don't hurt me. Please don't let me die, please don't hurt me. Please don't let me die, please don't hurt me. _


	5. Chapter Four

**Disclaimer: See last chapter. **

She screamed loudly, louder than she ever had before. She closed her eyes tight, screaming through the tears as she prayed that someone would hear her – anyone. Hot tears ran down her pale cheeks, not bothering to wipe any of them away before they landed on her bare feet.

Rachel clenched her hands into tight fists and screamed as loud as she possibly could, banging on the door over and over again. She finally slid down the floor, crying before huddling into a ball, rocking herself back and forth as she continued to cry, sobbing for someone to save her, her hand hitting the door every now and again.

Her body shook as she realized it had been nine whole months, nine months in hell. She shook her head, even more tears falling down her face as she cried harder, "Why don't you just kill me already?" She screamed at the door, knowing he was on the other side, waiting for a time he could walk in without the risk of her attacking him. She knew how stupid he was, she had tried to kill him six times and he still hadn't learned any lesson.

She bit down on her lip when the door began to unlock and she stood up slowly, "What have I told you?" He turned to face her as he walked through the door, shouting in anger and pan as her fist connected with his face before she ran. He laughed before grabbing her tiny and weak frame, yanking her down the stairs by her hair. "I've told you before, Rachel." He shook his head in disappointment as he forced her back into the cell.

She looked at him, tears falling down her face as she fell onto her knees, "Please kill me." She pleaded, before he grabbed her again and chucked her onto the mattress. She wasn't sure how much she could take now, she couldn't take one more day, she couldn't live. He shook his head, smirking, "Soon, my love.. soon." She cried out as he climbed on top of her again.

She hated him. She hated this. She wanted to die.

~ .. ~

She opened her eyes again when he was done, watching him walk out. She clutched her stomach in pan as the hunger rippled through once more – she hadn't eaten a full meal in three months now, just surviving by nibbling bread. She knew now that she was just a shadow of that girl her friends would have known nine months ago, she didn't care anymore and she would never see them again.

She shook her head, standing up to look around the room for something – anything, to end all the pain. Her eyes settled on the glass he had left days ago, just before he had given up on giving her food and drink. A small smile formed on her face as she walked over to it, reaching out before smashing it on the concrete floor. She was still in control, she could choose whether she lived or died, it wasn't up to him. This was her choice.

She slowly walked back to the mattress, brushing her hair from her face before pressing the glass against her wrist, looking at the door and looking back down again before digging it hard into her pale skin as hard as she could manage. And she repeated, and repeated.

She looked down, satisfied at the amount of blood dripping down onto the mattress before laying down and hiding them under the blanket, to prolong the bleeding, so he wouldn't notice if he did walk in. She looked around the cell one more time, whispering a soft goodbye before closing her eyes, hoping it would be the last time she saw this life, this room, his face. Longing for this to be the last time she felt his body on hers, his fist make contact with her face. Hoping and praying that this was the last time, the last time for everything.

~ .. ~

_Five months after Rachel went missing: _

Finn looked at the photograph he held close to him at all times, shaking his head. It had been five whole months, five months of pure hell. He looked down at the floor, before looking back at the photograph, his eyes wandering over her face and that beautiful smile he was so sure he would never see again.

"She's still alive." He jumped at the voice behind him, surprised to see his step-brother, Kurt standing behind him with red eyes as he slumped down onto the steps.

He shook his head and frowned, "Is she?"

"I can feel it.. we're best friends.. we tell each other everything. I know I may not be the best.. best friend ever but I know so much about her. I know she is alive.. surely you feel it, too?"

"I have hope.." Kurt just nodded, standing up slowly to walk over to the taller boy, hesitating before awkwardly wrapping his arms tight around him. He sighed and did the same to his brother, trying not to cry. Rachel's kidnapping had taken it's toll on everyone, the Glee club spent every moment of every day together, and Finn had never felt closer to the group as he found himself spending less and less time at his own home, and more at theirs.

Mr Shue had completely isolated himself, he would sit in his office and stare at the group photograph that had been taken just days before she went missing. Finn loved that photograph, Rachel just seemed to stand out from everyone else as she beamed at the camera, her arms wrapped around him.

Shelby usually spent time in the choir room, pacing back and forth – a trait Finn could only figure she had given to Rachel – as she spoke to herself, going over and over the whole situation as she tried to make sense of it, phoning the police now and again, but otherwise coming up with nothing.

Finn had to take time away from football, spending most of his time with the Glee club or on his own. The time off was supposed to be a break, a break from all the stares and the whispers about how he had "finally done off that annoying girl". And when he was finally ready to go back, ready to make a new start, he came back even worse than he was when he left.

He would lock himself in his bedroom with a photograph of him and Rachel at the beach, it was taken in the Summer. He would touch her face lightly, looking into her bright eyes as she grinned, trying to read her face, hoping there would be something there, some kind of clue. He read every single article on the case, watched everything to do with it and even talked to the FBI and the police working on getting the only girl he had ever truly loved, back in his arms. He'd phone them every single day, six times, asking if they had any news. It was his routine now, it would never change until she was back with him, back where she belonged.

He held tears back now as Kurt cling to him, both of them sniffing a little before pulling away to look at the photograph. "She's going to be okay, they will find her." He whispered before turning quickly, walking to the car.

~ .. ~

Mr Shue watched the Glee club fall apart, not knowing what to do. He blamed himself just as much as they blamed themselves, and none of them could sing anymore. None of them wanted a Glee club without the bossy, stubborn girl that had been a member since the club had begun. He walked into the choir room after summoning them all, "We have to snap out of this.. of Glee will be over." He finally said, hating himself for saying those words but he had been warned too many times by the principal and Sue.

He looked up, waiting for the shouts of anger and shock, but surprised when nothing came. He looked at them, sighing,

"Fine.." Puck said, "It's not the same without Rachel, anyway." The teacher could only watch as everyone else agreed,

"I am not going to give up on her, and you asking us to change how we feel, means you want us to." Finn finally spoke up, "I don't want to be here anyway. I hate singing, it doesn't feel right without her."

Quinn sighed, running her fingers through her long hair, "You can't force us to give up." Mr Shue nodded,

"I'm sorry then.. but Glee is over." Finn nodded, being the first to walk out of the choir room with his head held high, for the first time not caring that he had just lost one of the most important things in his life – he had a girl to find.

_Six months after Rachel went missing: _

"It's been six whole months," Finn slammed down his hand on the table, looking at the photographs and the articles they had stored in his house over the last month; the teenagers has started their own case, certain they would find the girl as the police seemed to be giving up.

"Finn, I know I have said this before but maybe we should consider the possibility that-"

"Don't you dare say it, okay? I would know if she was dead, don't even think about it." He turned around, punching the wall as hard as he could, he would know if she was dead. He loved her so much, he would know.

Mike put his hand on the boys shoulder, shaking his head, "Calm down." None of them wanted to think of the possibility that she could be gone for good, none of them wanted to believe that.

"She's going to be okay, she has to be okay." He muttered, shaking his head and looking back at the wall that had the whole case covering it.

"Right, so.. what do we have so far?" Artie broke the silence, looking around the room, "We know he was stalking her but we don't know exactly for how long and as soon as find out how long, we can find out where she met him and therefore come across a list of suspects."

"Okay.. so let's think.. when did she start.. acting a little bit strange?" Quinn bit down on her lip, deep in thought.

"The first time she told me that she could feel someone watching her all the time was about... a year and a half before she went missing. I didn't think anything of it.. I just laughed and told her she wasn't on Broadway yet." Kurt sighed, and Finn just paled at the thought of his girlfriend being stalked for that long.

"I remembered this yesterday.. that's why I never mentioned it before. I just brushed it off and told her to tell her dads, and put extra locks on her doors. I told her she was being stupid... she never mentioned it again until six months before she went missing, when she said she saw someone standing outside her house."

Finn nodded, remembering that moment, "That was a year ago, she called me to ask me to check it out. I stayed with her for over a week because she was terrified, and there was nothing. When I looked around, there was a stray dog but nothing else. She was convinced she saw the dog and never mentioned it again, not to me anyway."

"I went to hers for a sleepover four months before.. maybe a little more, but yeah.. one of the doors were unlocked, she was terrified and looked around to see if anything went missing but there wasn't.. so she locked it again and pretended like she hadn't just practically had a panic attack." Kurt sighed, they had gone through everything so many times, it was hard enough that they all blamed themselves for certain points when they could have done something.

"So.. at the moment, lets base this on starting a year and a half ago."

Suddenly, Santana sat up, "No wait.. what if we're looking at this the wrong way... we've gone through a list of friends, family, people in school... we've looked at everyone except the media."

Finn gulped, turning to face the wall again, "We should have thought of that before.. what happened two years ago in December?"

"Why December?"

"He must have taken her for a reason then, lets go on the theory that the date he took her was special to him, the date he first met her.." Artie nodded, typing something into his laptop,

"Rachel was in the papers on that exact day because she had come first in a local piano contest... it made it into the papers because the prize was a weekend at Juilliard."

Tina frowned and nodded, "I was at that competition.. my little sister was in it.. there was a girl who was a sure to win and then Rachel came out of nowhere.. and stole the first prize. My parents were shocked by how well she managed to play the piano.. she played an original song. But.. there were hundreds of people there that day.."

"We will go through those hundreds of people, we won't give up." They all nodded, ready to go through the large amount of press, or anyone connected to the media that would have been there that day. Finn smiled a little at the thought of finally having something to go on, and he was going to check out everything until they find her – no matter how long it took.

_Nine months after Rachel went missing: _

Finn clutched the steering wheel as hard as he could, they had finally hit the last man on the list they created and he couldn't decide whether he wanted it to be this guy – because that would mean Rachel was back and was safe with him – or if he wanted it to not be him, because that would mean if they had gone from the bottom of the list, they would have found her three months ago.

He shook his head, trying to stop the tears falling from his faced, this was the only lead they had and they had come so much further without the police – who had given up on the case two months ago. She had to be alive, she had to be okay.

He looked over at Kurt as tears fell down his face, he knew they all blamed themselves for not being able to see any of the signs, for not being able to help her before this started over nine months ago. He knew that if she was dead, none of them would ever forgive themselves, nothing would be the same again.

Kurt stared at the list in his hands, if this was their guy, he had been in front of them for months. He bit down on his lip, his tears dropping down on the list, it never should have happened. He wanted his best friend back, he wanted to tease her fashion sense and have those girly, musical nights in once more.

He looked behind him at Puck before turning back to the window, sighing when he thought about another person being lost forever. This never should have happened, they could have protected her from this. He bit down on his lower lip, sobbing lightly. He couldn't imagine a life without Rachel Berry, he wouldn't have said this two years ago, but he couldn't imagine a life without the girl.

The car finally pulled up, with Finn getting out first, slamming the door behind him, none of them knew what they were doing – wanting to call the police but not wanting them to take all the credit for their own detective work. And as much as he knew they should wait, he couldn't wait any longer as nodded towards Artie to phone the police.

He walked to the door, kicking it in without a moments hesitation with Puck's help. None of them cared for rules or laws anymore, none of it mattered because they were on a mission to find their best friend. They were on a mission to bring her back home, back where she belonged.

Puck was the first to spot the man as he tried to run, taking him down with ease – all of them could smell the blood in the house. They turned to look at each other before searching the house, none of them giving up until they heard a heartbreaking scream coming from the cellar. "Kurt?" Finn ran towards the scream, shaking his head and stopping when he saw the reason why.

His beautiful angel was laying in her own pool of blood, her face completely white, her lips a tinge of blue. "I-is she?" He bit down on his lip, staring as Kurt shook his head, taking a step back when Finn bent down to check the girls pulse – it was weak but it was still there. She could be okay, she could live through this.

Tears fell down his face when he heard the police upstairs, phoning for an ambulance. He clung onto Rachel as tight as he could, rocking back and forth, she couldn't die now, not now.. not when they were so close. "She did it to herself.." Kurt whispered, staring at the glass on the floor. They both bit down on their lips, as they realized Rachel had given up hope, on herself and on them. She had given up.

**A/N: So, I decided to let reviewers decide: should she live or should she die? Opinions needed! Most wins. **


	6. Chapter Five

**Disclaimer: Me no own Glee... **

Finn gripped onto her hand as tight as he could, as tears ran down his pale face. He stared at her ghostly face, watching the machine next to her – the machine that was keeping her alive right now. He moved his eyes to her chest, feeling comforted by the soft rise and fall, because it meant she was still there, she might be okay.

He never blamed her for giving up, he would never be able to blame her for that. He knew anyone would have done the same, no one could have lasted as long as she had in that tiny room, for nine whole months, with no one to talk to and nothing to do. He would have gone out of his mind, and he knew Rachel would have.

He smiled a little at her, bringing her hand to his lips as he softly placed a kiss on her fingers. She always loved having something to do, she needed to be kept busy. The place must have driven her over the edge. He sighed, looking down at her body, remembering everything they had been told about her current condition. He could remember sitting there, staring at the girl he loved as he shook his head. He had repeated the words over and over again in his head, hoping that maybe if he said it enough, it wasn't true – _She was raped, more than once. _

He bit down on his lip at the thought, shaking his head again in anger, this time, thinking about how it would feel to wrap his hands around that guys neck and squeeze the life from him. If only he had been able to do that. "It's going to be okay, we're going to help you through this when you wake up. I know it's going to take a long time for you to recover, but I promise I will do everything I can to make sure that you smile again.." He whispered, hoping that somewhere in there, Rachel could hear him and she was longing to open her eyes to let him know she was going to be okay.

He waited for a moment, hoping and wishing she would wake up before sighing when there was no movement. He closed his eyes, trying to think of a time where they were all happy, a long time before this happened. One man had ruined their lives and Finn knew he was out of depth, he had no idea how to help Rachel, he didn't know what he could say to her. How could he possibly tell her things would be okay? How could he do that when he doesn't even know what truly happened in that cell. He could never imagine going through that, no one could.

Finn bit down on his lip, more tears falling down his face – he had never cried so much in his while life as he had done for the past nine months. He had missed her, he missed her smile, her laugh, he had missed everything about her. He blamed himself for not looking out for her properly, like a real boyfriend should have done. And now here she was, nine months later, and he was clueless as to if she could ever recover from this – physically and mentally.

Kurt grabbed Blaine's hand as they both sat outside, wanting to be in the room but knowing Finn needed time to be with the girl he loved. They looked at each other for a moment before turning to face the wall, not being able to face the tears threatening to fall. They knew Rachel would need so much help to get through this, they knew they would have to be strong. They knew she would need them. "We're going to be able to do this, right?" Kurt whispered, looking his boyfriend in the eyes for the first time in months,

"I hope so.. we need to be, for her sake and for ours." Blaine bit his lip, looking over at the rest of the Glee club before turning back to Kurt – their relationship was never easy to keep up since Rachel had been kidnapped, but they managed to get through it. He wasn't sure either of them would have been okay if they hadn't had the other to lean on. Kurt sighed, biting down on his lip as he thought about his best friend being locked up for nine months, at the beck and call of some psycho who could have done anything he wanted to.

Quinn didn't bother looking up from her position on the floor, leaning against the wall. She wondered if she would be able to help Rachel, if she was strong enough to make sure the girl would be okay. She sighed, the thought of how they found her running through her head, the blood dropping down the girls wrist and he found himself wondering if she would actually make it.

She had taken a look around the room – well, prison cell would have been a more suitable name for it – there was a grubby mattress which was covered in dirt and blood in the corner of the room, with a thin and equally bloody and dirty blanket covering it. A small desk was on the other side of the bare room – and then there was Rachel, in the middle of the floor, about to die.

She knew that would be one image she would never be able to forget.

**~ .. ~**

_Rachel_

I look around the room I find myself in when I wake up, biting my lip as I try to think about what happened. I can't remember anything, I can't remember a thing. It's as though everything in the past nine months has been a _blur, _it's all mixed into one.

I can't breathe, I can't sleep, I can't stop thinking; am I **dead?**

Is he gone?

Am I finally _alone_?

I shake my head and carry on looking around the bright, white room, trying to find a way out. Tears run down my pale cheeks when I give up – there is no way out of this place – I could be stuck here _forever. _

I sink down onto the floor and curl up in a tight ball, sobbing as I try to think of how I can get out of here. I want Finn to hold me in his strong arms and tell me that I am going to be okay, I want him to take me into his arms and kiss me softly and tell me that he never actually _gave up _on me. And then I could lie to him and say I never gave up on him, either. It wasn't a big lie, just something for us to cling onto.

I would cling to him and cry into his chest and try and make out like that man never hurt me, he never _raped _me, he never beat me within an inch of death. I would try and pretend that I was okay because I can't be a **victim **anymore, I've been a victim for _nine months_ now, I don't want to do it anymore.

I can **smile **in front of _everyone, _I can _cry _when I'm alone.

I can laugh in front of my friends, I can **scream **when I'm _alone. _

I can be **Rachel** again, not this _shell _I have become.

I can crack a few _jokes_ here, patronize people on their song choices once more, I can join in with the **fun **and then curl up into bed and close my eyes tight when I'm _alone. _

I can act the part that is expected of me and then show how I _really, _**truly **feel when I'm all alone.

I can **scream** and _cry_ and throw things across my room when I'm alone.

There's no limits; I'm **free. **I can smell the _freedom_ and it's beautiful. It'd be so beautiful if I wasn't scarred, if I wasn't... ruined.

I can **pretend **everything is okay though, that everything is _fine. _

But, here I am all alone, so there's no point in pretending.

I want to **die**.

_Why can't I just **die?**_


	7. Chapter Six

**Disclaimer: See last chapters. **

"_Never give up on life, or life will give up on you."_

Finn watched as the pale brunette opened her eyes, groaning in pain and discomfort, her hand lifting out for an invisible thing that nobody else could see but the girl. He sighed and then slowly and carefully put a hand on her forehead, whispering words of comfort that he knew would do no good. He could hear her muttering incoherently beneath the oxygen mask as she turned her head from him to her parents and then back again, her eyes fluttering occasionally – fighting the sleep he knew she desperately needed to fall back into.

He could tell by the look on her face that she didn't think she would weak up and she didn't believe she would have ever been found. Finn had no idea if she ever actually _wanted _to be found. He sighed and put his hand in hers, smiling when she didn't flinch from his touch, his smile only growing when her eyes found his and she completely relaxed beneath his touch. He shook his head at the tears forming in her eyes, brushing some hair from her eyes before using his thumb to gently wipe away the tears that had found their way down her pale, bruised cheeks.

He watched her from a distance later that evening, watching as she was being checked over. From where he stood, he could see her body shaking as he found himself thinking she may never be the girl that left them nine months ago – she may never be Rachel Barbara Berry ever again.

"Do you think she will recover from this?" Quinn whispered from behind him, putting a hand on her ex-boyfriend's arm as he tried his best to give her the smallest of smiles, both of them looking over at the tiny girl who could have easily been mistaken for an eleven year old girl, rather than a seventeen year old woman.

"Honestly? I doubt it.. I don't know the details but it's been nine months. How do you begin to move on from that?" He looked at the floor, biting his lip to stop the tears he knew were about to fall,

"I think she can." Kurt murmured, smiling as he looked at his best friend – her dads were trying to comfort her as she shook, assuring her it would all be okay. Blaine was the next to speak, "You really think so?"

Everyone heard the hope in his words, their eyes lighting up when Kurt nodded, "With our help, and come on.. this is Rachel Berry we are talking about – she's the strongest out of all of us."

Puck nodded, "It's going to take a while, but we'll be here.. she has all of us. Especially you, Finn." Finn bit down on his lip, giving them a small smile – thinking about how if one good thing were to come from this mess, it would be the new friendships the Glee Club had made with each other; true and loyal friendships for the first time in the almost three years they had been together.

"We will make sure we're here every single step of the way, she will never have to worry about anything." Kurt smiled at all of them and took Blaine's hand, pulling him towards the best friend they had both missed so much. Finn grinned when he saw Rachel reaching out for Kurt, the way she laughed when Blaine said something, her shaking body relaxing when they both placed their hands in hers, the three all smiling at each other.

"I take back my answer, Quinn... she is going to be just fine." He nodded at the remaining Glee members before going back into her room, his eyes lighting up and sparkling when he heard her laugh. They knew it would take so much time for her to heal but it would be okay, she would be fine.

He kept his distance, watching as she nodded along to Kurt's 'catch up' stories, he noticed the way her eyes sparkled every now and again as she listened intently, her hand clutching at Kurt's as though he was her only lifeline. He heard a whispered 'thank you' from her mouth when Kurt gently kissed her cheek, "What for, princess?" He watched the boy he had grown to call his brother, instead of his step-brother lately, how he gently brushed the girls hair back, smiling at her.

"For.. treating me like I'm normal..." She finally said, biting down on her lip, not noticing the guilty looks on her parents faces as her focus completely remained on Kurt's face, tears falling down both their faces.

"You are normal, Rachel.. well as normal as you could possibly be.." He laughed and kissed her forehead, "You're still my best friend, you're still my main competition, you're still amazingly talented.. remember that, okay? He took a lot from you, he took nine months of your life from you.. but he couldn't take away your _talent, _Rachel.. he couldn't take away what makes you, you." He grinned down at her when she nodded.

"We prepared something special for you.. a welcome back, if you will." He gestured for Blaine to go get the others, having already cleared it with the nursing staff and Rachel's doctors. He kissed her cheek and winked at her before joining the rest of the club as they organised themselves around her bed.

Kurt smiled when Puck stepped forward to play the song softly on his guitar, before he stepped forward and looked directly at his best friend who was watching them all, _"It's amazing, so amazing how I survived this road.. feel the fever, I can feel it down inside my soul and I will the one to build you up, I'll build you up. I'll be the one to never doubt, I'll never doubt."_

Quinn held his hand beside him as she, Mercedes, Tina, Brittany and Santana blending their voices perfectly as they continued, "_Can you see how, can you see how far we've come? Such a miracle, everything is, everything is clear and you are such a wonder and I will be the one to build you up, to build you up. I'll be the one to never doubt, I'll never doubt.."_

Blaine, Puck, Artie stepped up next, each member of the Glee club taking it in turns to hold Rachel's hand, and kiss her forehead as they harmonized. _"It's amazing, so amazing how I survive this road.. feel the fever, I can feel it down inside my soul. I'll be the one to build you up, I'll build you up.. I'll be the one to never doubt, I'll be the one to hold your hand, I'll hold your hand.. I'll be the one to understand, yeah, I'll understand."_

Rachel wiped her eyes as they all joined in together, "_I'll be the one to build you up, I'll build you up. I'll be the one to never doubt, I'll never doubt, I'll never doubt, I'll never doubt, I'll never doubt.. I'll never doubt." _

Finn was the last to step forward as he took her hand in his, holding it close to his chest, _"It's amazing, so amazing how I survived this road.." _She smiled up at him when the music stopped playing lifting her hand to wipe the tears that fell down his face as she quietly thanked them, her eyes not leaving Finn's as she sobbed gently.

"Hey guys, could you leave us alone for just a minute? I'm sure Rachel will fill you in on some constructive criticism later on.." He smiled at them all and they nodded, saying their goodbyes before walking out with Rachel's dads, leaving the two teenagers on their own for the first time. "I love you, Rachel."

"H-how?" She took a deep breath, her hand clinging to his shirt, "How can you still love me? I'm ruined.. I might never heal." He let a tear slide down his cheek, her voice sounding so broken as she looked up at him with big, brown eyes, tears falling down her own face as she bit down on her lip.

"Listen to me, you are not ruined.. what he did to you.. it was.. horrible, it was.. worse than horrible but it doesn't define you, and I will not let it. Okay? You will be able to move on from this one day, I promise you.. and you will do so with me, your family and your best friends by your side because we all love you, and we missed you.. and we are so sorry that it took so long." She shook her head and sniffed,

"We never gave up, Rachel.. I promise. Not a day went by without a thought of you, hell.. some of us have to re-do senior year because we all stopped going.. so it looks like you're stuck with us for another year." She smiled and nodded,

"I-It was horrible, Finn... I.. he was so kind, and so... gentle to begin with.. he wanted me to love him, like he loved me.. but I wouldn't and I couldn't pretend. He was so sick, he told me he's been watching me for two years, waiting for a time when I was old enough to understand what love is. But he had to take me from you, because you were never part of the plan." She closed her eyes tight and gripped onto him tighter, "He.. he read my diary, he saw what I wrote, how I really felt about him and I pushed him too far... he lost it then. He was.. violent, volatile... hateful... everything he did was to hurt me and it got to the point I just wanted to die. It took me a while to give up, it's not that I gave up on you.. I just gave up on myself. I stopped being strong, he hurt me so many times.. I couldn't do it anymore."

He listened, not saying a word as he played with her hair and waited for her to get it all off her chest, "... I.. I wanted to take the one thing I still had control over... I could choose whether I lived or died.. I could choose how I wanted to and there was nothing he could say about it. It was the one thing I had left to control myself, so I took it. I'm so glad you saved me. Everything still hurts, I don't think it will ever stop hurting but.. I'm glad I'm back home, I'm here with you and everyone I love so much."

He nodded and kissed the side of her head, "I want to sing for you." He whispered, pulling away to pick up the guitar Puck left for him. "_If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea, I'll sail the world to find you. If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see, I'll be the light to guide you. Find out what we're made of, when we are called to help our friends in need. You can count on me, like one, two, three.. I'll be there.. and I know when I need it, I can count on you like four, three, two and you'll be there 'cause that's what friends are supposed to do." _

He found himself grinning as she smiled, her eyes sparkling as she listened to him, _"If you're tossing and you're turning and you just can't fall asleep, I'll sing a song beside you. If you ever forget how much you really mean to me, everyday I will remind you. You find __out what we're made of, when we are called to help our friends in need. You can count on me like one, two, three.. I'll be there. And I know when I need it, I can count on you like four, three, two and you'll be there.. because that's what friends are supposed to do."_

He put the guitar down and moved himself to lay next to her, his arms wrapping tight around her, _"You'll always have my shoulder when you cry, I'll never let go, never say goodbye. You can count on me like one, two, three and I'll be there... and I know when I need it, I can count on you like four, three, two and you'll be there 'cause that's what friends are supposed to do." _

She smiled up at him and cuddled into his shoulder, missing the feel of human contact after nine months of nothing but loneliness and pain. Finn held her close to his chest, playing with her hair as he continued to hum in her ear, moving his hand down to rub her back when she fell asleep finally. "I love you." He whispered in her ear, not wanting to ever let _his _girl go ever again.

**A/N: This is the last chapter – although an epilogue will be up soon! How far in the future would you like it to be/think it should be?**


	8. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: See last chapters. **

"_This love.. it's forever." _

Ten Years Later

Rachel looked around the house and smiled lightly at the photographs on the wall, she slowly walked through, glad that she was alone as her whole body shook. It took her a while before she sank down onto the couch, tears running down her face as she sobbed. It had been ten whole years, ten years and he still made her feel this way. It became less frequent as the time went by, but they still came – sometimes as she slept, but sometimes as she was going about her everyday tasks.

She closed her eyes tight as she gripped onto the side of the couch, before putting a hand on her stomach. "Oh, baby... I will do everything in my power to protect you. You will never go through what I did, I'll bring you up to tell me everything. If at any point, you don't feel safe, or if you feel as though someone is there, someone is watching you.. tell me or daddy, please. We'll protect you." She whispered, rubbing her seven month stomach as she cried.

"I love you so much already..." She placed a kiss on her hands, and then pressed her hands to her stomach, sighing. Her and Finn had tried to have sex five years ago, and it had ended up triggering too many memories – she broke down, he cried, she cried, they held each other and promised not to try anything again until she felt completely sure. She had felt horrible at the time, but she couldn't thank him enough for being so patient with her.

It was five years ago that she had found out she was pregnant with their first and second child, two beautiful, perfect little girls that she thanked God for every single day. She had been pregnant once before, five years before that first time, with the baby of the man she hated so much. But when she had tried to kill herself, the lack of oxygen, and the stress had caused her to lose the baby – and as much as she would never admit it out loud, because it made her sound like a _terrible _person... she was beyond happy that she lost the baby because she wouldn't have been able to cope with a constant reminder.

Although her and Finn didn't have sex again for a long time afterwards, her being pregnant had been enough to pull her out of the break down that followed their first time. It had been enough to make them both happy as they held each other, when she was four months pregnant, crying with happiness as they finally had a part of them both to share. She had been over the moon when she finally gave birth to her girls – Amelia; which meant, 'work of the lord' and Aveline; 'wished for'. And she was happier than she had been for a long time.

She achieved her dreams – she was a Broadway star, people adored her and everyone wanted to hear her story. And she told it, four years ago, she finally told it. The book sold out, people began to love her even more once they heard what she had gone through, from her point of view, and not the media's. And she felt as though a weight had been lifted as she wrote down the words, as she quoted extracts from the diary she kept when she was there. She described how she felt, and Finn told her how proud he was of her, and her best friends all threw her a party and the Glee club got together for a reunion to celebrate how _proud _they were.

Finn was doing well, too. He moved to New York with her, but decided college was not for him. And she supported him as best she could as she went through college – two years later than planned, but she made it and she was so glad. She spent the first year of her freedom in a hospital, and she had never been more thankful for doctors and nurses, than she had been then. They helped her so much, and her friends visited every day and sometimes, Finn would sneak back in to sleep next to her, comforting her.

The next year was spent going back to school – the Glee club joined her, some were meant to be in their senior year, but others had dropped out on the search for her and were re-starting. They protected her, and she felt safe. They went to college, or got jobs and she continued to be around her family, even ten years later. Finn was a firefighter, and she could not be prouder of him. He wanted to help people, he wanted to do something worthwhile and he was _amazing _at his job.

She sighed and looked around the room again, her and Finn had begun to get sexually active a year ago, and it had been perfect and beautiful. She hadn't had a nightmare for over three years, and she had only had a flashback once in the past two years. But now, now it all came back to her when she had been going down the stairs – she had heard noises in the basement, and she was terrified. And it had all come back to her, and she hated the fact her progress had been ruined.

She sat there and rubbed her stomach, crying so hard, she never heard the door open. She didn't hear her husband tell Kurt, Blaine, and the twins to go into the other room as he ran to her side. "Hey, gorgeous." He said softly, bending down in front of her to take her hands in his as he looked at her face. "It's okay, it was just a bad memory. You're here, you're home now. I've got you."

He smiled as she visibly calmed down, her eyes meeting his as he moved his hand to wipe away her tears, he had learned the right things to say that calmed her down, and she never loved him more when he held her in his arms, comforting her after a nightmare, or an 'episode'. She smiled when he wrapped his arms around her, pulling himself up to sit on the couch next to her before pulling her onto his lap.

He held her close to him, brushing her hair from her face as he rocked her gently. "I love you so much, Rachel Barbara Hudson. You are completely safe now, I promise you. I've got you." She nodded and the tears stopped as he leaned down to kiss her lips softly,

"I love you too, Finn Christopher Hudson." She whispered, her smile getting wider as she felt her heart return to normal pace, the memory soon forgotten as she stared into his eyes. She saw the love, the acceptance, the... complete safety before she nuzzled her nose against his neck.

"Mommy?" She heard two girls as they came running into the sitting room, she felt them jump up on the couch and hug her legs. "Mommy, it okay... no be sad, mommy." She looked up to see Aveline staring at her, her huge brown eyes looking into her mother's as she grinned.

Finn helped Rachel sit up as she took both of her girls in her arms, hugging them tight, "Mommy is fine now, babies. Thank you." She kissed them both, ruffling their hair as they both nodded. Amelia looked at her and then at Finn, concern in her eyes as she carefully got up and went to the kitchen, her sister not too far behind them. Rachel found herself looking at Kurt and Blaine who shrugged their shoulders, and Finn who looked perplexed as he stared at the empty spaces on the couch.

"Mommy, here we go!" She grinned when she saw her two _perfect _daughters come in, carrying a glass full of water. A glass with a star on it, the glass her mother got her so many years ago. She whispered a thank you as she took it, drinking it quickly, looking at the two girls with so much pride, barely noticing the way Kurt teared up at the gesture.

She had never been more thankful for her family than she had been in these moments, she knew there would be so many more to come but they instantly made her feel better. "Is Christopher doing okay in there, mommy?" Aveline asked, kissing her mother's stomach before plopping down on her daddy's lap.

"He's good.. he's kicking as usual." She laughed when Amelia moved over to poke the stomach, a stern look on her face,

"Hey you, little brother.. No kicky mommy! I wouldn't like to be kicked very much..." She frowned and put her cheek on Rachel's stomach, smiling when the kicking soon died down.

"He's going to be a little footballer." Finn said with pride, ignoring the way Kurt and Rachel rolled their eyes and scoffed at him. Aveline and Amelia were destined for Broadway, like their mother, so Finn could only hope that Christopher would follow in his footsteps for a change.

Rachel smiled at her beautiful family, leaning her head against Finn's shoulder as she closed her eyes and held her daughter's close, smiling when Kurt and Blaine sat down on the floor in front of the couch, both of them grabbing one of her hands as they smiled at her. It was the most perfect family she could have ever asked for, she was _thankful. _


End file.
